I’ve been feeling a little constipated lately and I also need to douche again before my boyfriend comes over for the weekend, so yesterday I went to the pharmacy to get one of these:
I apologize if I’m being a bit to “in-your-face” here in regards to my
ass cleaning rituals personal hygiene and other bodily functions but these things happen, we all do them some time or another so why hide the fact that it exists? I’m not Hollywood that banned toilet scenes from movies in the early days; I’m real about what’s going on. If that’s too much for you to handle then kindly move along. With that said, the funniest thing happened yesterday when I went shopping for an enema.
As I walked into the pharmacy there was this really queer looking guy standing around in his work uniform. I sort-of knew where they kept these things from the previous time that I bought one so I went straight to that isle. To my dismay they had moved everything around and it was no longer in the same place. As proud as I am about my body and my lifestyle, it’s still kind-of embarrassing to openly ask for an enema in a store full of old, conservative ladies, men with kids and one really gay looking shop assistant.
The guy came around asking “Can I help you with anything?” and since I’m unashamed I immediately asked, quite loud and in a gay voice; “Where do you keep your disposable enemas?” – If you’re gonna proclaim to the world that you’re about to
douche your ass buy an enema, you might as well have some fun doing it, right? The gay-looking assistant looked me up and down, got this wicked grin on his face and then pointed me to a nearby counter. I walk over to the counter but with many people standing in the way I could not see anything so the lady at the counter (who was looking at the assistant, also with a wicked grin on her face) asked quite loud; “Can I help you?” – Yet again I ask for the disposable enema, after which the lady at the counter looks over to the assistant again, grins, and then says “THE RECTAL ENEMA WITH THE WATER INSIDE?” – The whole shop went quiet for a second and all the conservative people looked at me. I nodded and then accepted the parcel. Well it wasn’t really a parcel, it was just the enema bottle that I had to carry by hand.
I could feel everyone looking at me as I walked over to the tills to pay for my goods and I could almost read the thoughts on peoples minds, especially the gay-looking shop assistant. That evil grin that says “Oh, I know what you’re going to do with that” – It made me feel almost violated yet extremely satisfied with the fact that I can walk into a shop, purchase something that requires me to willingly squirt liquid up my bum and not act all ashamed and shy about it. It was also interesting to see the reaction from the conservatives that aren’t used to much. They would probably expect an old lady to purchase the enema for someone else and then hide is behind her purse as she tip-toes to the tills.
It’s only an enema, yes it goes up the rectum and fills it with water to clean it out. GET OVER IT. – Maybe next time I should walk in there and go to that gay-looking assistant or the lady at the counter and just say “I’m here for the usual?” and if they look confused I can say “I need to clean my asshole” – The in-your-face over-sharing of detail kind of excites me a little bit. Don’t get me started, I’ll over-share till you’re begging me to stop (unless you’re actually cool and well aquatinted with life in which case nothing will bother you and we’ll be great friends.)
And that my dear readers is my enema shopping experience. Do any of you have a similar experience? I know some of you might feel really ashamed to purchase these things in public. One of you even hate asking for condoms (you know who you are). Get over it.. 🙂
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