I have been driving here in the third world without a valid drivers license for more than 6 years now. The first time that I wrote my learners exam I was unable to get a license test booking before the learners license expired. Once the learners license expired I just never bothered to actually re-write the exam because I’ve been too busy living my life and driving around in my sexy Smart ForTwo. Years later I finally decided to do the right thing again so I went in to write my learners license exam again.

I managed to get a drivers license test booking a few months ago which I unfortunately failed because of a really stupid reason. The driving instructor stood outside of the car on the testing ground while instructing me to do certain things. Everything went well until I stopped on an incline. As I started pulling off the driving instructor gave her next command which I couldn’t hear because she was a bit too far away from me. In order to hear her I let go of the pedal to roll back so that I could hear what she had said. The next thing I knew she handed me a paper with a big “FAILED – ROLLED BACK” written on it before I could even ask her what she had instructed me to do and why I rolled back. Stupid CUNT!

After that experience, life got in the way again and I only managed to get around to the licensing department offices today. I had to go now since my learners license will expire in March and  because I don’t have my own car anymore the family members don’t appreciate me driving their cars without a valid drivers license. I’m basically stuck now until I get a valid drivers license or purchase my own car again. Since I’m not planning on purchasing a new car until I get to America I have to get a valid drivers license if I am to go anywhere at all in this country.

I went to the Boksburg licensing department and completed the necessary paperwork. I forgot that I had to bring a copy of my ID document and learners license because they don’t have photo-copy facilities inside the actual licensing department offices. Realizing that I’m out of luck there I asked them if there is a place nearby where I could go make photocopies so they instructed me to go outside the gate and across the street to where “the yellow car” was standing. I thought “Ok fine, there must be a building across the road where I can make photocopies.”

There was no building. The yellow car was the photocopy service:

In the lovely South Africa this is where you make photocopies, at the yellow car outside in a puddle of mud. They had a really old photocopy machine on the back seat of the car and I have no idea how they actually powered it but I managed to get two copies for about 85 cents (R6 in the local currency). After I got my photocopies I went back to stand in the very long queue in the grass outside the building. When I eventually reached the front of the queue I was instructed to go inside to stand in yet another queue in a very narrow and poorly lit hallway outside the office where we are to book our tests. Eventually I came to the front and entered the office. The person that helped me was rather friendly and it was pleasant communicating with him. I could actually understand what he was saying to me and he actually looked directly at me when he was speaking, which is something totally new and unexpected since the last few years officials have been mumbling to the walls.

I thought to myself that this was it, I’m finally getting another booking. Then the person helping me said: “Your learners expires in March, I can only get a booking for you in August. You’ll have to go to Alberton, Benoni or Germiston and hope that you can get a booking at one of those places.” – Now here I am again, struggling to find a booking and my learners license is about to expire again. I refuse to re-write and pass a third time. If I cannot get a drivers license test booking this time round I’ll just purchase my license by bribing a corrupt official, since bribery seems to be the only way to get anything done in the third world.

Why is it so difficult and nearly impossible to do the right thing in Africa? I just don’t understand. Actually I understand and know the exact reason but I’ll keep that to myself to avoid another racist argument in the thread below. Gotta love the third world 🙂

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