What? Not a single update in the last 10 days? I know… Not Cool. The truth is that I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather lately. Last week I’ve turned down a trip to the coast because I wanted solitude instead of socializing with my religious family. Then, this week I came down with some terrible flu symptoms which had me in bed for a couple of days. The lack of physical activity made me really frustrated, and on top of the flu and frustration, I’ve also been feeling over-emotional, finally realizing my current truth and trying to accept the single life.
You see, I’m old school when it comes to love. I believe that once you love someone, you never ever stop loving them, no matter what. This belief makes it a bit difficult to let go of the past, but I also believe that I can, and will, find another love. Since creating new profiles on various dating sites I’ve received many messages from guys who just want to hook up and have fun, “no strings attached.” One night stands rarely excite me. I want romance, and the type of lust and fantasy that can only be fulfilled by someone I know and trust.
As tempting as it is to give in to “NSA” fun, I would prefer at least knowing and trusting the person if anything intimate were to happen. Yes, of course I get horny, but I have two hands and a dildo to take care of that rather than risking disease with some random sleazy trick just to get off.
I’ve also been very shy, withdrawn, and scared of meeting any new people at all. The days of virtual living were fun, I didn’t have to feel self-conscious and I could easily teleport away, or simply log off if things started getting too uncomfortable. And this is exactly why I’ve stopped living that life. It’s not healthy. The only way that I’m actually going to find what I’m looking for is by crawling out of my cave, and opening myself up to new people and new experiences.
Amid all the “NSA” offers there were a few friendly messages worth responding to on some of the dating sites. I’ve started chatting to some people in an effort to “get out there” again, make some new friends, and hopefully find love again, eventually.
Apart from the emotional drama, I’ve really started taking my singing and vocal training seriously. I see a bright future filled with passion, continuing with what I love; blogging, writing, and singing. – The hope to one day “make it big” in these professions is what keeps me going, and I know I will get there.
That’s enough soppy drama for one day, Till next time… Much Love! xoxo
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