Everything is a mystery. My whole life is a mystery. No, wait, it’s not. I am master of sharing too much information. However, I’ve come to learn that some things are better left unshared, and that there’s a time and a place for everything. For example: Twitter is the perfect place to tell the world about the condition of your sphincter; someone else’s wedding is the perfect place for fellatio underneath reception tables; and a soldier’s funeral is the perfect place to scream about how much God hates everyone… Right? No? No, of-course not!

None of the above situations are appropriate, yet that doesn’t stop them from happening. If we, as a species, lived more mysteriously; would the above situations not occur? I mean, think about it… Leaving the condition of your sphincter a mystery would be more “appropriate” than sharing it all over Twitter. Not telling the best man at your brother’s wedding that he makes you thirsty wouldn’t result in below-table sucky-sucky. And leaving God’s hate a mystery, tucked away in the evil bible that no one actually fully reads, would be more appropriate than screaming about it at funerals.

Maybe inappropriate behavior somehow relates to us all being attention-whores and over-sharing our information, thoughts, findings and opinions, without even thinking about what it would be like to remain somewhat mysterious. Maybe attentionwhorism (yes, I’m declaring that a real word) and inappropriateness are the results of lack of mysteriousity (yes, I’m making that a word now, too). Maybe we should all endeavor to become more mysterious.

Or maybe we should all stop being uptight and let others share whatever they want to share. Maybe we should label mystery as weakness or as the assumption that someone is trying to hide something that should not be hidden. Maybe we should all discuss our sphincters. Maybe we should all perform fellatio on every man sitting by a table that we come across. Maybe we should all scream about how much God hates everyone (really he does, he even murders children, no joke, go read the bible)… No? I don’t know…

Maybe the whole point of this article is a mystery.

[ Featured image: Penkkarit 1990 ]

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