Too many people talk about what they don’t want, or complain about what they hate. Even I am guilty of that. We like to nag and complain about things that upset us or situations that we want to get away from; It’s human nature. “My head hurts, there’s nowhere to go, there’s nothing to do, he doesn’t like me, what if they don’t like me, this house is too small, this neighborhood is lame, I don’t like them, I don’t want this, someone got killed, there was an accident, they’re invading a country, my vagina hurts, etc.”
So many complaints, so much focus on what we DON’T WANT. We bitch, we moan, we complain in hopes that venting about problems or talking about issues will fix the situation or make us feel better. After all, no harm done in talking about it, right? We’re “just saying.” It’s not like our constant negative focus and complaints can do any harm, right? Talking about it will make us feel better and maybe enable us to find a solution, right? … WRONG!
I’ve come to learn, through both personal experience and by observing others, that the happiest people on earth are happy because they always talk about what they want, and not the other way around. We always think that maybe if we had happier lives, we’d talk less about negative things, and focus more on thing that we love and things that we want. We give up talking about what we want because our current situations make it seem like there’s no way to get it, so we simply give up, and instead of focussing and talking about what we want, we revert to complaining about what we don’t want.
Now, before I continue, let my just clear something up; When I talk about “we” or “us”, I mean YOU and me. And by YOU, I mean someone who find themselves in similar circumstances. I don’t mean “we” as in, me and my multiple personalities or imaginary friends. I’m not that crazy, yet. Anyway, getting back on topic…
The best way for us to get out of any negative situation, or away from anything that we don’t want, is to stop complaining about it, and instead talk about what we want, and focus only on what we want. Think about it; constantly complaining or talking about a negative issue isn’t going to make anything any better, unless the person we are talking to can actually do something about it. That’s why we have doctors, therapists, service providers, etc. When we talk to a person who can actually do something about the issue, it’s fine. But, if our general attitude in conversation with friends, family, co-workers and strangers is negative; we only draw more negativity to ourselves and to those around us. Constantly talking about what we don’t want only makes us over-think whatever it is that we don’t want. It hinders our creativity in finding solutions, and it stops us from clearly seeing ourselves outside of the situation, or away from the objects that we don’t want. The only way to be happy, break free from what we don’t want, move forward, and live a better life, is to talk about what we DO WANT!
What do you really want?
Most of us are so caught up in complaining or talking about what we don’t want, that we don’t even have a clear picture of what we do want. You might say; “Oh I want love, wealth, and happiness,” but those are very general terms. Everyone wants that. If you want to break away from what you don’t want, you have to shift your focus away from what you don’t want, and create a clear picture of what you do want. What do you really want? What situation, object, or person will enhance your happiness? What amount of money do you want, and for what? What kind of partner do you want, and what kind of relationship do you want to have with your partner? Do you want new clothes, shoes, maybe a new car? Be more specific! What kind of clothes? What brand? What style? What color?
Being specific about what you do want enables you to pin-point your desires to form a clear picture of what you are working towards. If you never talk or think about what you do want, you’ll never break free from what you don’t want, because you’ll have no idea what it is that you actually want – And this is what separates the happy, wealthy and successful people from those who are unhappy, unhealthy and barely surviving. Happy, healthy, and successful people know what they want. They talk about what they want, and they don’t waste energy constantly thinking or talking about things that they don’t want. How often do you hear happy people complaining about what they don’t want? They’re happy because they choose to focus on what they want, rather than what they don’t want. By focussing and talking about what they want, they build a clear picture of their desire, which then sparks creative ideas and avenues towards opening the doors of opportunity that will give them what they want. It’s easier to achieve something that you know you want, than it is to get away from something that you don’t want.
The featured image of this article is a great example; You can either look at the ugly, old car, focus on how dilapidated it is and talk about how much you dislike it, or complain about how much effort it would be to fix it – Or you could focus on improving it, talking about all the awesome improvements you can make, talk about where you can drive and explore, and picture yourself doing what you would do if it was in a fantastic, fully functional, mint-condition. Which do you think is more productive and beneficial to your over-all happiness? Which do you think will actually inspire you to take that old car you see on the left, and turn it into the beauty that you see on the right? This is a perfect example of focussing and talking about what you want and using what you have to work towards what you want. But maybe your problems are more related to health or circumstances…
Maybe you’re experiencing some leg or back pain, or you have frequent headaches. Whenever you talk to your friends, you complain about your pain. You don’t want pain, so why are you talking about it? Talking about it is only going to make it worse, because you’re focussing on the problem instead of the solution. Instead of complaining; talk about how much you enjoy walking, stretching, and running, talk about how good it feels to work with a clear head, and picture yourself in perfect health. Soon you’ll be in a better mood and you’ll be inspired to take action towards getting that amazing feeling that you do want. Maybe it’s as simple as getting up and taking a walk, doing some stretching exercises or just taking a break from your desk.
Another fine example of the positive power of focussing and talking about what we want, is my most recent living arrangements; I could complain about my small apartment, I could talk about how much I dislike the the town I’m in. I could feel sorry for myself; for bringing myself into an unwanted situation. I could talk about everything that’s wrong with my life. I could get depressed, give up, and do nothing, while hoping that my complaints will somehow magically make my problems go away, but it won’t. What good would any of this do? Instead, I am focussed on what I do want. I create vision boards and keep a diary of the kind of life that I want to live. I look at things that I want, I make lists of things that I want, and I talk about things that I want. This diverts my focus away from what I don’t want and inspires me to work towards what I do want. If you find yourself in an unwanted situation, or around unwanted company, or perhaps even with an unwanted physical possession; replace your hate of said situation or object by talking about what you want. You’ll be surprised at how good it makes you feel and how it will inspire you towards actually achieving or obtaining what you want.
It’s all about focussing on the positive, taking a positive approach, and talking about what you want instead of what you don’t want. You can’t remove or change something by fighting against it. You can only remove or change it for the better by building upon its positives or replacing it with something else. This philosophy applies to everything in life. It’s the basic Law of Attraction. If you pay attention to the world today; you will clearly see that any focus or talk of anything or against anything negative only fuels the problem and draws more unwanted situations.
The world is destroying itself by fighting the unwanted instead of talking about, and working towards, the wanted. You won’t become wealthy by talking about poverty; you’ll become wealthy by talking about riches and discovering creative ways to achieve those riches. You won’t create a peaceful world by waging war against those who disagree with you; you’ll only create peace by focusing on tolerance, acceptance, love and freedom. You won’t end the vicious drug trade by waging a war on drugs; you’ll only save lives by tolerating and helping those who seek help. You won’t improve your health or any aspect of your life by complaining about it; you’ll only create a happy life by focussing and talking about what you want!
Let’s improve our lives and make this world a better place, not just for ourselves but also for others! Let’s talk about what we want! I’ll start: I want a sexy boyfriend with a big penis and I want to earn at least $10,000 per month from my blogging career. Now it’s your turn. Go… Drop a comment below. xoxo
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