The Cut (NY Mag) has just reported that Prince William is vaguely connected to an illicit eighteenth-century sex club:
St. Andrews University, where Prince William and Kate Middleton met and went to school, was home to a raunchy elite sex club founded in 1732, to which an ancestor of William’s belonged. The St. Andrews museum possesses “rare historical artifacts” used by the club, which can be viewed by approved scholars. They include drinking glasses in the shape of giant phalluses. Lewd platters are engraved with surreal pornographic images, including erections shaped as lighthouses and roosters with human penis heads. One prize exhibit is a snuff box filled with female pubic hair that was plucked by one of William’s most debauched and lecherous royal relatives, King George IV, the prince’s fourth great-granduncle, who ruled from 1820 to 1830.
The activities of the club, which met monthly, were stranger: Early in the evening, naked village girls, known as posture molls, posed on tables in acrobatic positions to reveal “the Secrets of Nature.” Pornographic texts were read. They would then make toasts from the lewd drinking vessels, known as prick glasses, citing “Firm erection, fine insertion, excellent distillation, no contamination.” The club president would then open up the wooden box, revealing a motley wig that, according to club tradition, had been woven from the pubic hairs of King Charles II’s many mistresses. Members would take turns wearing it, evidently using the talisman to enhance their sexual potency. Finally, the boozed-up and merry members would gather around a table. There they would masturbate onto the club’s fine pewter plate, known as the Test Platter.
Oh those kinky old Royals… Why do they now seem so up-tight and conservative. What say you Prince William?