I refuse to give up!

Mentally, I’m in a really good place right now; hopeful, positive, and determined to survive, heal, live, and thrive.

But physically? Physically, I’m barely surviving, I am in constant discomfort and pain, and I live in a failed state nation, feeling completely stuck while my body is trying to kill me.

I need to get my body on par with my mind somehow, I need urgent support, and I need to relocate to a place where I can actually get the support that I need.

I’m not giving up or letting the current situation be the death of me. I’m not letting my body win. I’m not letting this situation or my current location be a death sentence. I have things to do and places to go.

Mind-over-matter is currently where I’m at, but I am well aware that what I need in order to escape this situation is sufficient support, taking action, and doing whatever I can to change the situation.

Although I am positive and hopeful, I’m currently stuck in survival mode, battling cancer, future uncertainty, and trying my best not to lose my sanity while I wait for things to change, progress, and improve.

Unfortunately, everything that’s been stressing me out is out of my control in terms of funding and timing. All I can do is wait and hope that the steps I’ve taken so far will result in something positive, that the situation will improve, and that my plans will fall into place. There’s nothing more I can do about anything at the moment so It’s a matter of time, staying positive, having patience, hoping for generosity from my fellow humans, holding onto hope, and my will to survive—positivity keeping me from losing my sanity.

My cancer treatment fundraiser has not been successful yet and I’m not receiving any treatment at the moment—mostly due to the fact that I don’t have a big enough support circle or a large enough reach.

Unfortunately, crowdfunding platforms like Back-a-Buddy don’t do much to get the campaign noticed by potential supporters. There is no built-in crowd of generous donors. It’s all up to me to get the campaign out there—to get it seen by donors, and actually receiving enough donations to reach the fundraising goal.

I’m not exactly famous or popular, and due to my Autism and ADHD, I barely have any friends or even close family ties, so it’s been difficult getting the campaign backed by enough donors to actually reach the fundraising goal. My direct support circle is extremely small. That said, I am extremely grateful to those who have contributed so far! Thank you! I hope that more donations will come in and that I’ll reach the fundraising goal before it’s too late.

In the meantime, up to this point, I’ve continued seeking help in the South African public healthcare system as well as the private sector but my pleading for sufficient government assistance is being ignored, what they do offer is entirely inadequate, and the private sector will only help me if I can raise enough funds.

I feel like there is no hope, no help, and no future for me in this country, but I keep trying to find a way forward, to get the necessary medical treatment and financial support, and to hopefully, eventually, build a fulfilling life worth living.

I came to the realization that, in the current state of things, I need to relocate to a different country as my situation here in South Africa seems utterly hopeless—the South African government has neglected me and there are no systems in place here for me to gain sufficient support, to heal, build a life, live and thrive in a way that’s effective and meaningful. If nothing changes, I don’t have much time left.

If I stay here, I’m simply stuck—operating in survival mode—until I am no longer able to survive—until my body gives up. That’s simply not an option. I need to get away from here. I want to heal, I want to rebuild my life, I want to live, I want to thrive but I need help! I can’t do it alone!

Since my fundraiser is not currently going as planned, and since I’m not getting the support that I need here in South Africa, I’ve applied to the USA refugee program on the grounds of racial discrimination from South African government officials and healthcare workers, and on medical grounds, seeking urgent humanitarian assistance, cancer treatment, and the support needed for me to heal, to actually have the possibility of building a life in a place where I’m not stuck in a hopeless scenario and a constant struggle to survive.

After researching my needs in relation to what the USA refugee program offers, along with which states have the best state programs that will enable me have an actual chance to heal, rebuild, live, and thrive, I’ve decided to relocate to either Washington, Oregon, or California—in that order of preference, provided that I’m accepted into the program and granted refugee status, and provided that it happens before it’s too late.

I have a virtual (video call) interview happening soon which will determine my eligibility for refugee status under the current program. I trust and hope that the interview will go well albeit eating at my nerves. I barely even do phone calls so video calls are beyond stressful and anxiety-inducing, but I will get it done, and I will hopefully be provided with a way out of this hopeless situation.

My future hangs in the balance of two possible outcomes—barely surviving in South Africa for but a few months then dying here, unless I reach my fundraising goal before it’s too late, and even then, struggling to survive in a failed state nation, or being granted refugee status and moving to a better place where a future is actually possible—the pendulum in this scenario is acceptance into the refugee program, and I am hopeful for it to swing the right way.

In the meantime, please continue to donate if you can. My situation requires urgent funding and I need all the help that I can get.

Thank you for following my journey and for your support! 💜

#Personal #Cancer #Fundraiser